The MySpace poem I read at The Spot 1-20-09

I’m a MySpace Addict

Will you be my friend?
Who can I ask to be my friend?
I hope someone cool asks to be my friend.
When is my favorite band playing?
I’ll leave a comment about them.
Maybe someone will leave a comment about me.
I have 135 friends.
I’m going to get more and more friends.
What can I write in my blog?
I can choose from a long list of moods
and an animated smiley face will illustrate
the mood I choose.
I can let everyone know what book I’m reading
and what cd I’m listening to.
Look. I choose it from the list
and the picture shows up in my blog.
This is so cool.
I’ll let everyone know about my poetry reading.
I’ll send out a bulletin.
I’ll do a search on a name and try to find my old boyfriend.
Look there he is. He doesn’t have as many friends as I do.
He’s going bald. His wife is fat. They have dogs.
Look I have new event invites.
There are so many events to go to.
How will I decide what to go to?
I guess it depends on my work schedule
and where I can get a cab home from.
Maybe I’ll meet some cute guys and then
I can do a search on their names and ask them
to be my friends on MySpace.
I better make a point of remembering
their names correctly or at least
what they look like.
All these guys I don’t know
are asking to be my friends.
Their pictures look weird
like those that come in the picture frames
you buy at Walgreens.
They could be stupid and creepy.
Maybe I should accept them as friends
because they’re interested in my poetry.
One guy sent me a message.
He says that he is 20-something and
Puerto Rican with green eyes and
hangs on the Northwest side of Chicago.
He says that I seem like a freaky bad girl
and that I should definitely get back to him.
Gee, I don’t know.
I accepted this one guy as my friend.
I actually felt weird about it,
but then I decided I should go ahead
and accept him
because I need
to build my audience.
He’s sent me 7 messages just today.
“I’m still up. Call me.”
“Meet me for a drink.”
“Pick up the phone.”
“Let’s hook up.”
“We make the perfect couple.”
I’ve never met this person before.
I actually emailed him and asked him
if he had seen me read before, or if we had met,
or if we had friends in common.
He said, no, he just was looking
for cool people in Chicago.
His profile says he is nocturnal
and likes cats and is looking for nice ladies.
Maybe he’s a vampire.
His other friends are either dominatrixes or
suicidal goth girls.
I’m going to delete him from my friends.
That’s the first time I ever deleted anybody.
But I’m thinking he could be my first
MySpace stalker.